Make Their Life Better First

I used to assume that because I had experience in sales, networking should come naturally to me. It didn't. What I didn't fully appreciate at that time is that sales gives you something external to stand behind. You represent a product, a company, a value proposition that exists outside of yourself.

In a job search, however, you are the product. And that difference creates an anxiety that I know many people deal with.

In sales, if the conversation went sideways, I could tell myself the product was a tough sell or the timing was off. In a job search, it feels much more personal if/when things are off... you constantly wonder whether you are coming across as needy or opportunistic or trying too hard. The self-consciousness is exhausting.

An Unexpected Referral

What I remember most is how easy he made it. His resume was tailored to the role. He came into every conversation knowing what the position required and where his background mapped to it. He followed through without me having to prompt anything.

At no point did I feel like I was dragging him along or vouching for someone I was unsure about. He was the one searching for a job, and yet somehow he was the one making my life better. He helped me look good with the hiring manager. He helped move forward something the team genuinely needed. Without realizing it, he had been generous with me the entire time... which made him the type of person I would advocate for.

What generosity actually looks like

In a professional context, that usually comes down to one of three things... and none of them require a budget.

Make their job easier. Show up prepared, responsive, and clear so you are adding to their day rather than taxing it. When someone has to chase you for information, ask you to clarify something, or show up differently, you are spending their energy. When you show up organized and thoughtful, you are giving something back before the conversation is even over.

Make them look good. Be the kind of candidate that reflects well on the person who championed you. If someone refers you and you show up unprepared, you cost them. If you show up sharp, informed, and easy to advocate for, you make them look like someone with good judgment. That is a gift they will remember.

Help them move something forward. Contribute a perspective that fills a gap, solving a real need, be the piece of the puzzle they were looking for. People carry open problems into every conversation. When you arrive having thought about what they are working on, you are no longer just another person asking for help — you are someone who showed up ready to think alongside them.

A Generous Approach

I knew what mattered to the teams I was talking with, I came prepared to address it, and I made the conversation easy for them. Four weeks after that layoff, I had landed a new role. I do not think that was coincidence.

Before your next networking conversation, try sitting with one question: what might actually matter to this person right now, and how could I be useful to that?

You may not always know the answer with certainty, but the act of generous consideration is what gets you out of your own head and builds advocates in the job search.