Iron Sharpens Iron

When I think back on my career, I can draw a line between times when I was growing and times when I was just getting by. The difference was whether or not I had someone beside me.

At the Chicago Tribune, I was in a role where most of my day-to-day work was solo. My boss gave me direction, but collaboration opportunities were limited. I did the job well enough, but looking back, I wasn't growing.

Contrast that with my time at UScellular. I had a colleague named Doug who sat shoulder-to-shoulder with me as we worked on innovation initiatives. On paper, it was still an individual contributor role, but it felt completely different. Doug sharpened my thinking. He challenged me to move faster. He showed up in a way that inspired me.

As the saying goes, iron sharpens iron.

Social Reinforcement

That question mattered. It was a reminder that I was showing up for the group. We held each other accountable. And because of that, I got stronger, healthier, and more disciplined in my routine.

Gretchen Rubin captures this dynamic well in her book The Four Tendencies. She explains that while some of us are good at meeting our own internal expectations (like crossing items off a to-do list), many of us are wired to respond to external expectations — the commitments we make to others. She calls this group Obligers. And even if you’re not an Obliger by nature, you still feel the pull. We’re social creatures. We do what the tribe does. We care what others think.

This form of social accountability works because it takes something abstract — a long-term goal with no immediate payoff — and attaches a near-term consequence or reward. You don’t get fit from one workout... Our growth isn't instant. But you do make progress one day at a time.

The Risk of Job Searching Alone

But when you have social accountability, a peer, a partner, or a crew around you, the silence feels less heavy. The check-in, the support, the “where were you yesterday?” becomes its own reward and a healthy pressure.

This keeps you in the game long enough for those daily actions to bear fruit.

Simple Steps, Courageous Action

1. Pick your partner(s).​ Choose one person or a small group who understands what you’re going through. It could be a former colleague, another job seeker, or even a close friend. The key is someone who cares enough to notice if you don’t show up.

2. Set the cadence.​ Decide how often you’ll connect... Weekly, twice a week, even daily if that’s what you need. Consistency matters . Put it on the calendar so it doesn’t get lost.

3. Define the stakes.​ Create a system where there’s a consequence if you don’t follow through. It doesn’t have to be punitive. It can be as simple as knowing you’ll have to admit to your partner that you didn’t send out the applications you said you would. This is your permission to be vulnerable, ask for collaboration, and commit to partnership.

Closing Encouragement

That realization eventually led me to create the Job Landing Accelerator program at Laid Off Launchpad. It’s designed to give job seekers social accountability in a structured, weekly format.

But whether you join the program or not, the principle stands: job searching alone is feasible, but it’s unnecessarily painful. Hard work is easier with people by your side.

So ask yourself today: Who’s your accountability partner? Who’s going to notice if you don’t send that application, make that call, or block off time to sharpen a skill?

Find partnership this week to unlock your better self.